Black Rose - Confessions of a HellCat
by Lexi-Dark
Summary: With the death of Fiona... comes the confessions of the "HellCat" from Chibs' past. Will the love that they once had for each other reignite or will her Family's secrets destroy them both? Only the strongest survive. Will they?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody... I just made a few adjustments to this story so that it would flow better... It's all in past tense now so my writing won't confuse you... Please let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy... Thanks for reading.**

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><p><strong>Black Rose - Confessions Of A HellCat<strong>

Can a man be in love with more than one woman? Sometimes I think it's impossible. To ask for that kind of commitment for one is hard enough let alone two.

**Confession: **I know this struggle because the man that has my heart had the heart of another. It was a difficult position to be in but I could only play the hand I was dealt, nothing more nothing less.

I have to admit... this love came with a price. A steep bounty, and it was never easy. I seemed to always be on the outside looking in. Watching and waiting, not knowing when, or if ever, my turn would come. When ever I was around him it was peaceful, thoughtless even.

But that was some time ago... It was the year prior to my return to Charming for that matter.

Ah... Charming... it was never a place that I saw as "HOME". To me, it was more of a stop-over, a safety zone for that matter, while I was stateside doing... "business". I regarded it, with its old town feel and lack of modern necessities, as that quiet, out-of-the-way kind of place where no one knew my name or who I was. In my eyes, it was humbly regarded and appreciated for just those reasons. And if I'm going to be truly honest here, there are times that I didn't even want to know me… but that was a price I was willing to pay for the "JOB".

The first time I set foot in Charming I realized that anonymity suited this town better than I had ever hoped for… that was until I laid eyes on him… the man from my past. But I should start by introducing myself or at least give you a little history lesson. My name is Amelia Cezar; daughter to Antonio and Catalina Santos, and granddaughter to Alejandro Cezar. I know what you must be thinking but it was the last request of my late grandmother – who bore the same name - and seeing that I was the first granddaughter I would be the one to carry on the name.

My uncles always told me that I took after Dro, and now that I think about it… I mean really think about it, they were right. But I kepy that thought to myself more often than not, because it seemed to be a touchy subject when it came to my father and he made it a point, in one way or another, to make me pay for it as often as he could. Don't get me wrong in-spite of our many differences nothing could change the love I had in my heart for him.

My grandfather, on the other hand, he loved me more than words could ever express and I felt the exact same way, if not more. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him so when he extended the position of his "Second" to me I immediately accepted. I had to admit the entire transition rattled a few cages but I knew he chose me for a reason… I moved like he did. My thought process is that of a man, so even though I may know "my place" I understood the "business" and the decisions that were being made.

I think that's what set me apart from every other woman I came across, with the exception of a few... I'm able to go to places that only the most dangerous and blood thirsty men dreamt about… I think that's what brought him back to me. My Scottish lover... he's someone very different, a factor in my life that was totally unexpected... but that was 14 months ago, and I had no idea what to make of it.

14 months ago… that's when everything changed. When my father's influence played a major role in turning my world upside-down… the event that changed the way I looked at and treated Antonio forever. Understand; I may have loved my father but my love didn't go far enough or was even strong enough to get me past what he did. Betrayal is betrayal, and it's a hard thing to forgive and even more-so to forget and that was in the back of my mind the whole time, not only pertaining to me… but to HIM as well.

It brings me back to the question of loving two women… On one hand... the tall, fair-skinned Irish bitch with True IRA connections who happened to be the mother of his one and only daughter. And then there was me... the dark-skinned, full figured Brazilian hellcat with dark eyes and an attitude to match, and I too have the IRA family connection... it make's you think doesn't it? Yeah well, me too.

Coming back to present... after all's said and done I found myself back there… in Charming… a little older, a little wiser and most importantly much more dangerous. The one thing that stuck out in my mind was… WHY? Why there… of all places? Sometimes I thought it was a simple answer but I still questioned myself… Back to business? Back to THEM? Back to HIM?

I guess that was yet to be seen… The one thing I did know was… I was back and it was time to pick up and make moves


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Confession:**

In the last minutes of you life you relive the sequence of events that led you to that very moment... You start being completely honest with yourself as it flashes right in front of you. So here I am, confessing to you my truths...

It had been a month since I touched down state-side, and I was getting back into the swing of it all. Even though a lot had changed, there was a sense of comfort that Charming brought me... a familiarity if you will, with things of the past. but I needed to focus on the now, and "the now" was having to find legit income.

Don't get me wrong, getting back to "business" was easier than I thought it would be as Dro was keeping me busy enough. But my old life was over, it was just me now... and seeing that I was alone I would have to stay above the law.

Those thoughts brought back a lot of angry memories, leaving that proverbial "bad taste" in my mouth...The things that transpired the year before had left me wanting something. I wasn't sure what that was yet but I was more that willing to allow things to play out...

The deafening sound of my prepaid going off pulled me back to the present.

"Hello" The tone of my voice was a bit harsher then I would have liked it to be.

"Amelia?"

The voice on the other end was unmistakeable and it made my heart skip a beat. The man I've known my entire life as my godfather... Nero Padilla.

"Hello stranger. How'd you know..."

"Lia we have a problem, you need to get down to the police station and collect you father."

As soon as he spoke the words my heart was in overdrive. I don't think anger was the right way to describe how I felt in that moment.

He hung up the phone without another word, there was no point. I grabbed my keys and my purse and left the house

...

I walked into Charming PD on a mission... a million things were going through my head on my way over there. But I knew, more than anything, that I had to keep the raging beast within in check or this wasn't going to end well. I don't like tight spaces and prison worried me.

"Amelia Cezar herself," a familiar voice spoke making my insides clench up. "Come to bail out you old man I see."

"Alex Tragger, I should have known." I turned in Tig's direction "What'd he do?"

"Nice to see you too dollface." He gave me a crooked smile before pulling me into a hug

"Welcome back."

"Yeah" I shook my head after letting him go "Not so welcome... feels like I'm trespassing or something."

"You should feel that way... A whole month darling, and... nothing." Jax's voice was like a stab to my heart.

I was really hoping this 'face to face' would've happened on better terms. After all, it's been so long since I had been in the presents of the Sons, the last place I wanted to see them was in a police station.

"Back off biker." That voice belonged to my father and the beast within me started clawing it's way outward.

"You should be the last one talking about backing off." All I saw was red "What the hell did you do?"

"That's no way to speak to me." He spoke calmly. That was an uncharacteristic move for a man like him "Respect..."

"RESPECT!?" I had to laugh "That goes both ways old man"

He looked as if he were going to respond but couldn't find the words. I took that moment to try to calm down. Moments like those were typical actions of my father. His way of sending a message.

Well message received loud and clear... and as the realization dawned on my face my father smiled smugly, that just pissed me off all over again.

"Where is Blake?" I asked as calmly as I could manage'

"Hell, if I know." Tony replied still as smug as ever "I called Terrance, he's coming to get me." He walked away, headed outside.

I had to take a deep breath because I was loosing control of... everything. But before I could follow suit I felt a strong hand grab my own... and I knew it could only be one person.

"Filip." I could only manage a whisper.

"Aye lass." He replied as gently as he could, while pulling on my chin forcing me to look at him.

My heart skipped a beat as soon as I looked into his dark eyes, but I knew that wasn't the time nor place for our reunion. He seemed to have the same sentiment and reluctantly let go of my hand.

Making my way outside to the parking lot the bikers followed silently...

Walking over to where my father was standing, smoking cigar, I still wanted answers...

"I thought we had a deal? What did you do?"

"Nothing" He blew out a long stream of smoke "Just a friendly visit"

I stared at him in disbelief. There was no winning with this man. "Nothing you do is friendly Tony"

He considered that for a moment. "You're right... well it's more of a warning then."

"Well you need to hear my warning." I stepped closer to him "Nothing, and I do mean nothing, goes down in this town... EVER. It's off limits."

"Message received. Loud and clear." He put both hands up in surrender "I'll honour our deal... for now."

I knew I should have been satisfied with that but it didn't feel right. Something about the way he spoke and the look in his eyes told me that this was far from over.

At that moment a Black Navigator pulled into the parking lot and out stepped Terrance, my fathers second in command. He shook his head as I walked my father over to the passenger side.

As Tony made himself comfortable in the front seat Terrance turned to me...

"What the fuck?!"

"That's a good question. I still don't know what he did." I shook my head

He sighed looking a little apologetic "Where the hell is Blake?"

"That's an even better question. I haven't seen him and Daddy doesn't know where he is. I'm not even sure how he got here."

"When I find him he'll answer for it. I promise. I know how you feel about keeping distance. This is just bullshit..." He held out his hand "It won't happen again."

Shaking his hand... I couldn't help the clenching feeling in the pit of my stomach "Let's hope you find him before I do." I chuckled, more to myself... "I'll be in touch."

He nodded once to me and then to Tig and the boys before jumping back into the drivers seat. It only took a few seconds before he was pulling out of the parking lot and speeding away.

"How'd you know he was here?" Filip's voice rang out behind me. For a second I had forgotten they were there.

"Nero called me."

"Yeah figured as much..." Jax nodded at me... we had a simple understanding.

"Is it true?" Filip asked the question but there was something hidden in his words.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that love." I turned in their direction

"His warning..." I was hearing his words but I had no idea, at the time, what he's talking about and the blank expression on my face prompted him to continue "His power of persuasion... if we step out of line he will exert that power and this time it will be more damaging than what he's already done to you."

I just stood there in silent disbelief. Power was the one thing my father was good with. And he made damn sure everybody felt the weight of that power, especially me.

"So then the damage is real?" Tig's words were carefully measured, as he held my gaze "If it is dollface..."

"The damage is done" I cut him off. "My fight... and it will get answered for."

Had I said too much? Had I said enough? I couldn't be sure. There were mixed expression on all of there faces. But that wasn't the time nor was it the place to explain. And I meant what I said... this was my fight.

"Can I expect to see you all for dinner?" I had to take the silence as an opportunity to change that subject.

"Yeah, we'll all be there." Jax was the one to speak. "One big happy family."

"I think that's mom's whole plan with this. Trying to get things as back to normal as possible. Her way of doing her part for the family" I couldn't meet his eyes. But I knew he was trying to stare a whole through me.

"Aye lass" Filip stepped towards me and pulled me into a hug. "You and I... we have a lot of talking to do." He whispered in my ear before letting me go

"I know, full disclosure..." I nodded before turning to the others. "Mom expects you to be there at a decent hour. I have some things I have to take care of, shouldn't take long."

Tig and Jax nodded at me, both with mixed expressions on there faces. But Filip knew exactly what I meant... I knew this by the way he squeezed my hand before they walked away towards their bikes. That made me nervous, to know that he felt in any way that I was taking a risk. But what I do comes with the family I'm in, and I had to do my part.

NOW…


	3. Chapter 3

**Confession:**

Life is not always as it seems... case in point - The Felines; Mi Familia or at least they were a long time ago. As of now? They're dead to me and I have no problem making that a reality.

You see, judgements are a dangerous thing and when left to the individual opinions of others it can do some serious damage. I should know, I made that mistake – I'm not proud to say – on more than one occasion... and believe me when I tell you, I paid for it, still am as a matter-of-fact. That's how I find myself alone now.

Life as I knew it went straight to hell 14 months ago at the hands of "Mi Familia"... Betrayal is a powerful thing.

It was right around the time that I met SAMCRO, and I have to admit Clay was a little weary of us, "The Felines", and now that I think about it he was totally justified.

I believe it was a challenge for the Sons to remove themselves and how they operate in order to understand who The Felines were and how we functioned and conducted our own business.

It was Jax who finally put it together; he put it in terms of an all female MC – we might-as-well had been the way things were playing out. But that's besides the point. We were compiled of 5 of the most dangerous and vengeful women in the world... and in putting those pieces together he dubbed me the crew's Sergeant-At-Arms, and I was fine with that.

Honestly it made sense, at the time, with the things I did for my "sisters".

Yes that's right, we regarded ourselves as a sisterhood. We even had nicknames that defined pretty much who we were. All of us from different walks of life, having something particular to bring to the table.

Weather it be mob connections, or gangsters; drug lords or pure criminals and yes... even outlaw bikers... it didn't matter we were all in deep.

But looking back on it now, I think on some sub-conscious level I felt out of place, always on the defensive... feeling as if I was walking on eggshells all the time... fearful even. Or maybe it was just my hotheaded nature showing them up for what they really were... Unstable. And that's putting it nicely.

Betrayal is betrayal anyway you take it and believe me when I say – It will be answered for.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Confession**:

The rage is comfortable. It's as easy as smiling…. A statement like that used to make me nervous… and now? The only thing that really makes my feel that way is my mother's "Family Dinners".

I was never really sure what to expect. Always on edge and having the feeling of not fitting in anywhere. Don't get me wrong, biologically, they're my family but it seemed, more often than not, that that's as far as it went. Or maybe, subconsciously I wanted it that way… I'll let you be the judge.

I was late for dinner that night. I knew it the moment I pulled into the driveway of my mothers house… Well actually you cant even call it a house it's more like a gated compound that she shared with Dro and my two uncles.

Not only was there a feeling of being late, it felt as if it was more than just a "family" thing… There were too many bikes on the property for it to have been just SAMCRO.

I internally groaned when I glanced at the clock on the dashboard and it read 9:30 pm. I was definitely going to have to answer for this one. Not only with mom but with Dro as well.

I took a look at my face in the rearview mirror and immediately the beast within responded with anger as the events of the evening flashed in my head.

Yeah a lot of explaining…

Getting out of The Reaper I made my way to the front door. I was not looking forward to what was about to happen next… what was affectionately waiting for me on the other side of the door.

"You're late" Came the thundering voice of Gemma Teller-Morrow, my mother's best friend and partner in crime.

I felt her before I saw her which, in turn, told me that she saw my face immediately and more specifically the bruises, that I had not doubt were starting to form.

Her hands were cold and it was a welcome sensation, but the look on her face spoke volumes.

"What happened…."

She started to speak but I cut her off before she could build any momentum. "I'm fine." was all I could offer and honestly I wasn't in the mood… I just wanted to stand in silence that moment and take full advantage of her soothing touch.

It wasn't that I didn't appreciate her concern… no it was more the fact that I don't like discussing business with anyone. What happens to me is my problem.

She let it drop… just like that? No… it seemed too easy and that's because I know my mother would be worse… Much worse.

Gemma silently walked me into the main kitchen of the compound where, sure enough, my was waiting for me… and we immediately made eye contact. Yeah this is much worse than Gemma. I would have rather been dealing with Gem at that moment but it was too late, she was already giving me the death stare.

"Mi amor." She spoke softly as she walked towards me "You know that rules"

"Yes I do" I answered, no longer meeting her gaze.

She touched my face and her hands, like Gemma's, were cold and comforting. "Then why wasn't there a phone call?"

I couldn't answer her. I had the answer, the voice inside my head was screaming the answer but chose not to say anything.

"I don't understand" Gemma spoke from the far corner of the room "I asked Blake…"

Her words dropped off the moment she saw my face when I looked at her "What do you mean you asked Blake?" I looked back at me mother "He's here?"

"Yeah darling, he's been here all night" Gemma may have answered me but my eyes stayed locked on my mother's and I knew she was reading into it.

The rage, once again, was taking over and the beast within was angry. She was screaming for his head served up on a platter but I knew I had to silence her. So I tried the only way I knew how… I closed my eyes as tight as I could and waited for the red, that I was seeing, to turn black… but it wasn't happening on it own. Not until I felt mom place both of her hands on my face, did I finally reopened my eyes and in doing so I realized that I was gripping the kitchen counter.

No one spoke… but thankfully the deafening silence was broken when my prepaid went off with a message…

Looking at my phone "If you would excuse me." I spoke softly as I turned to leave, but stopped at the door "I'm sorry I was later. I know I should have called, but…" I paused only for a moment "I'm here, and in one piece."

They both looked at each other knowingly, that my mother spoke without letting go of Gemma's gaze "You hungry baby?"

The question caught me off guard as it was an unexpected change in subject. That was something my mother was good at… finding a distraction. She never did well with situations like this.

"I'll take it to go…" I smile at the both as they turned, in unison, and stared at me. "I'm not staying long…"

I saw mom nod slightly and I took the gesture as an opportunity to leave… Everything about that conversation made me extremely uncomfortable, especially knowing or perhaps not knowing what was going to happen next… they're so unpredictable.

I had to face my grandfather and he wouldn't let things go as easily.

Leaving the main living area of the compound I made my way to the back-grounds… This place was so big that it was un-natural to call it a backyard. You see the compound sits on more than five thousand acres of Cezar property, gated all the way around. It's like a protective domain for the family.

Don't get the wrong idea, there was more than enough space for everyone, but to me it feels more like a prison than a home. I liked my freedom to come and go and I chose to… not having to answer to anyone when it came to my own business. In some ways I liked being alone, and now that I think about it, it's always been that way… me being alone that is.

That thought itself made me stop walking. It made all the noise inside my head cease to exist.

"I've always been alone."

I said the words out loud and they sounded more like a revelation than a basic statement. Furthermore it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders that I hadn't realized, until that moment, was there.

It was a moment of clarity. One my grandmother told me I would have. She said this to me on my eighteenth birthday, just two weeks before her death. And now, just shy of my thirty-second birthday, standing in this dark hallway about to step back into the kayos… it happens. She tole me that once it did… I could handle anything. I would have to strength to deal with all the bullshit. I would be able to see the big picture and know what to do. And it was true. I knew exactly what had to happen next.

Let the kayos begin…


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hello to all my faithful readers and followers. I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time out to read my story it means to much to me. I'm working on the next chapter and hope to have it up before the holidays. **_

_**Thank you for taking this journey into my Alternate Reality of the show you know and love. I would like you to know that you can expect certain things from the show to factor into this story but the rest is of my own creation. I do not own and of the SOA Characters. That honour goes to Mr. Sutter. Once again thanks for reading**_

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

**Confession:**  
>Knowledge is power… so I feel it's time that I give you some knowledge in the from of a history lesson… my history of course.<p>

_**Food for Thought - **_

_When is enough, enough? I'm not even sure when that question stopped making sense. _

_So much had happened that it became a part of my thought process to question the loyalty of others. It was as if there were a feeling in the pit of my subconscious that screamed "Don't Trust Anyone!" But I couldn't live like that anymore. I wasn't getting anywhere and the fear of it all would've crippled me._

_The lessons, from all my past mistakes, were priceless… as if every choice I made had a devastating consequence in return and "The Feline's" were no different. _

_You've heard me refer to them as my sisters… Tiger, Lioness, Panther, Chetah and I was known as Jaguar. I'd called them "Mi Familia"… Well, it was a natural thing to me…. no thought process when it came to them. There was a bond between us that we had promised to honour until the day we died. But they took back that promise. I don't think it was ever real to begin with. _

_One thing I need you to understand, is that family is everything to me. I'd do anything to protect my family… _

_My father and I had a different idea of that. He went behind my back and used his influence and power to manipulate our Irish connection… I happen to be 4th generation IRA on my great grandmother's side… the Brazilian in me comes from Dro and my father could never see any of himself in me… and, on some subconscious level, I think that's why he set this whole thing in motion_

_He reached out to Jimmy O'Phelan, a True IRA shot-caller. Jimmy always had a desire for my mother, Catalina, and my father used that as the incentive he needed… When Tiger got wind of it all, instead of informing me, she decided to get into "bed" with Jimmy. And Jimmy knew Tiger and I hated each other and planned to extort that._

_So in a way my father pimped out my mother… his wife._

_That revelation, was one of many that made me sick to my stomach. To think he could stoop so low as if he were making her pay for something… something that I was unaware of at the time. Just like he planned with me, and my betrayal was far from over._

_Tiger wanted me out, and she needed everyone to be in full agreement to have me removed… And that's what It was… Unanimous. Ness included. I don't know how or why but she gave the ok. I guess Tiger was…, is for that matter, more influential than anyone realized and with Jimmy in her pocket, at the time, she was unstoppable._

_So I was out… and then I left. _

_Why?_

_It was because of Dro. He offered me the position of his "Second", with Michael, my uncle, being his successor, and having just lost what I had a hand in creating I accepted with no hesitation. It felt both like a fresh start and an exile of-sorts… I had nothing else to loose and a whole lot to rebuild… alone._

_But with all that being said there was still that question of why… Why Jimmy? _

_Besides the obvious… what was he getting out of this? _

_I didn't know how to make sense of the situation, at the time. It wasn't until I left that I started seeing the big picture…_

_SAMCRO and in-turn the Russian pipeline. _

_Keeping The IRA's movement funded was the longterm objective, and with my connection to SAMCRO he was afraid I would hand my Brazilian contacts over to Clay, at a steep discount… No need for the Irish. _

_And then there was another question… Why not just kill me?_

_That thought had crossed my mind… a lot. It kept me up at night. It made no sense me… Why would Jimmy go though all of that when he could have made a more damaging move? It's as if he wasn't thinking long term. He was too caught up in the moment to see his own big picture. _

_But then again Jimmy was the kind of man that.. what ever he wanted…. he took. Me on the other hand… the last thing I wanted was to go to war with the Irish. I guess you can say it was my way of keeping the piece. _

_The time I spent in Brazil allowed me to learn, not only about the business but life as well. I knew that at some point I would come face to face with them and my first thought couldn't be of revenge… But I'll be honest, I took enjoyment in mentally planning out the things I would do to all of them. _

_And then there were the thoughts of Him… Filip… _

_Sometimes I thought that he was better off with me nowhere near him, but those thoughts wouldn't last long and I think they're one of the contributing factors as to why I went back to Charming._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Confession:

There's a fine line between business and the dark side and I found myself having to walk that line, very carefully, more times than I care to admit… and Blake, more often than not, was one of those fine lines. I had to be cautious when I handled him… not because he was my cousin but because of his father. AJ; Alejandro Cezar Jr. was Dro's first born and it's safe to say he was a completely different breed.

He's the hothead of the family. Very rarely thought his actions through. Retaliation was the most important thing to him especially when it came to his business and his son… To be honest with you, he reminded me so much of Clay… In that realization I see the similarities. In everything that they did consequences never seemed to factor in…. it's like they were meant to be a team. I guess that's why I didn't see it coming…

But I should continue to present the big picture so that there's a full understanding of what I see…

.

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><p>.<p>

The rest of that evening was simple… When I walked into the back-grounds I had Tig and Happy's immediate attention. Although I couldn't hide the fact that I ran into a little trouble, because it was literally all over my face, they decided to respectfully keep their distance… for the moment. I knew, at some point, I was going to have to answer to them…

Remember that fine line I was talking about? Well… I decided to avoid crossing it that night. Being in mixed company put shit in prospective… and forced me to maneuver very carefully around everything.

Knowing is half the battle, and when it came to Dro… not knowing what he was thinking scared the shit out of me. Why? Because he had that look on his face... And it was time to get this over with, they were waiting for me…

I had to admit, looking around at the scene in front of me, there was a bit of familiarity. You see, the Back-Grounds reminded me so much of the SAMCRO clubhouse except everything was outdoors. I think Dro preferred it that way… he was never a fan of confined spaces. But it still had the air of a "man's space"… completed with a dancers stage to the left, pool tables and a dart board in the centre and a full bar to the right… as well as a meeting space. "The Table" if you will, which was located away from everything else... Secluded.

Easing my way though the crowd of men I approached the bar and Lucy, my most trusted confidant and lieutenant, handed me a beer…

"Do I need to ask?" She may have been the one who spoke the words, but my attention was on the man standing next her… Tig.

As he took a sip of the beer he was holding his eyes never left mine. I could tell he was fighting to find the right words to the right question. He shook his head before giving Lucy a kiss and a smack on the ass as she turned to head back behind the bar.

She, like me, knew her place when it came to the Sons and besides I was getting ready to tell my truths to Dro… she didn't want to be anywhere near that. We'd have our time later…

"What happened to you face, Doll?" Tig asked as he put an arm around my shoulders.

I couldn't bring myself to answer him just yet. So I followed suite and wrapped an arm around his waist, underneath his Reaper and we walked over to where Dro was waiting for me.

As I took the seat to Dro's right... Michael, who was sitting to Dro's left, reached across the table and touched my face with a silence that was almost suffocating. Tig, in turn, sat to _my_ right… while Jax, Happy and Chibs were already at the table along with some unfamiliar faces.

Jax saw my expression as I looked in their direction.

"The Grim Bastards… our bothers from Lodi." He offered before I had the chance to ask. "We're thinking of adding a little colour to The SOA"

I didn't know how to respond to his words. Jax was always the type to push for change but in that moment I saw it for myself… So all I could offer was a nod in response.

Locking eyes with Michael I decided it was time for some truth… but I struggled with the words…

"Full disclosure Doll" Tig's voice was gentle in my ear but I knew I had to be cautious with my next words.

"Ran into an unexpected visitor… a mutual enemy" I glanced at Filip letting my words hang for a moment "I had no idea he would be there… I was unprepared and shit like that don't happen to me."

"What'd he want?" Dro asked

"The usual…" I responded while pulling out my lighter to light the cigar he was absently fidgeting with "To warn me… like everyone else."

"His warning get physical?" Happy asked from the other end of the table.

I couldn't say the words so, once again, I nodded.

"That bastard has to die…" Filip leaned in close as he spoke the words gaining my eye contact in the process.

"Things aren't what they seem to be, darlin" I stared at him allowing the weight of what I just said to sink in… and it did.

"What…" He began to ask but I held up my hand to stop him…

"Not here…" I shook my head and looked over at the table where Blake sat alone… "Don't know how many ears are listening…" I then looked at Dro. "and I doubt he's cut out for this shit."

Dro, glancing over in Blake's direction, sat in silence and considered that for a moment. They all did for that matter…. especially Filip. He had so much invested in this whole situation.

About three months ago word got back to me in Brazil that Fiona was dead. The woman that he called his wife… the mother of his daughter Kerri'Ann… the very woman he vowed, he would protect with his_ own_ life… the one I could never be… was gone. And that was something I thought about quite often

"That's enough boys, let her breathe. Things are heavy enough without the audience." Moms words came out of the darkness as she approached the table placing a bag, full of food, at my feet.

She always had that kind of timing… knew when to intervene, and Dro would never fight her on it. It was, quite often, my saving grace, and besides... She was right. Things _were_ heavy…. and she also gave me the out I needed to call it a night.

"I should be heading out" I looked around the table "It's been a long and painful night."

"Can I walk you out?" Filip asked me as I was getting up from the table

I could feel everyone else's eye on _me_… watching my every move and reaction, but I couldn't bring myself to meet_ his_ eyes…

"Of course." I finally spoke after a short silence "Goodnight gentlemen" Were my parting words as I picked up the bag of food and my untouched beer and headed back over to the bar where Lucy was, no doubt, watching as well.

I smiled at her, though I knew it didn't reach my eyes as the weight of this day plagued me. "You need a ride"

She thought about that for a moment looking at Filip. I think she knew, then, that he and I needed some time. "I need a few minutes… You willing to wait a while?"

"Absolutely" I reached over and gave her a double kiss. "I'll wait for you by the car. I've had enough for one evening."

She knowingly smiled at me before turning to Filip… "Be good to her" she warned…

He put up his hands in surrender… "Of course darlin'" He smiled while slowly and cautiously reaching for a hug. "Thank you" he whispered to her before letting go and looking at me.

As our eyes locked, for the second time that night, my heart jumped into my throat. It's safe to say that he made me nervous and he knew it.

I gave Lucy one last look before Filip put a hand on the small of my back and gently ushered me out.

The walk back though the main area, of the compound, was a quiet one… almost too quiet, but it did give me a chance to say goodnight to mom and Gemma before we walked out to my car.

Once there I took out my keys to open the passenger door for him but he gently grabbed my hand instead, forcing me to once again meet his eyes. Those powerful, telling eyes, that I quite often got lost in, always told me a story. This time they were saying how worried he was about me and how much he, himself, was hurting.

I wanted so much to tell him that I was ok. That this was apart of the life I lived but I couldn't get the words out. He took advantage of my suffocating silence by raising my hand, that he held in both of his, to his lips and kissed it… more than once. Then placing that very hand over his heart her reach out to touch my face.

I closed my eyes in anticipation of his cool fingers soothing my bruised face but it never came. Instead he took a step back, gave my hand one more squeeze and silently walked over to his bike.

I didn't know weather or not to be angry or hurt by his actions. So I decided on… nothing. No emotions at all, it's what I did best.

He was still transitioning and needed time to figure out what he wanted, and I was willing to it to him. Besides I had my own shit to handle.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Romeo and Luis want a face to face with you." Lucy spoke from the passenger seat as I pulled unto HWY 99 headed back to Charming.

I glance at her as she was lighting a cigarette. "So I'm officially on there radar now?"

She smiled before taking a long drag and blowing it out through the open window. "You've always been on there radar mama."

"I figured it was only a matter of time till they were reaching out." I responded more to myself than to her.

Blowing out another stream of smoke she reach over and touched my face… "You wanna tell me what happened?"

"Jimmy O'Phelan happened." I looked over at her as the weight of my words sunk in. "Im fine…"

"Bullshit," She cut me off

I shook my head trying to keep my attention on the road. "Look, I know how you feel about this whole situation"

"He needs to be dealt with." She reached over and touched my face again. "He's done enough damage to you and I'll be damned if this asshole walks with no repercussion."

"He'll answer for everything" I told her "they all will for that matter."

"Can I watch?" She laughed before taking the last drag of her cigarette

I laughed as well… but in reality, she was right. The damage was done and I kept paying for it. If Lucy had her way they'd have all been dead already… slowly and painfully. That's the kind of person she is… meticulous. Always made sure the punishment fit the crime. I guess you can say she learned from those who did it best.

Lucy was born Lucinda Parada the niece of, military commander and high ranking member of the Galindo Cartel, Romero 'Romeo' Parada. She's a lot like me in more ways than I care to admit out loud. I think that's why we work so well together. She's closer to me than a blood sister and I trust her with my life.

Sometimes I think it was fate that forced us to meet. She was looking to belong, to solidify herself to the family name… and I was looking to rebuild, I needed to believe in someone again…

Destiny… That's the way I see it.

I remember the first time our paths crossed. I had just moved back to Rio when she reached out to Dro, with a need for our services. When she walked in I came face to face with a five foot six inch brown skinned bombshell. I guess you can looks are very deceiving… her hazel eyes, full lips and hour glass figure drew you in and when you finally realized what was happening it was too late… she had you. She reminds me so much of the black widow. I guess that's why it worked to her advantage,and more-so why we fit together so well… as if we were meant, in some way, to complete each other.

She saw me when I wanted to be invisible. And I saw who she was though her self-discovery. I grew closer to her in the two years I was away than I did with "The Felines" in the ten years that I knew them… what does that tell you…

"When do you want to it to happen?" Lucy's words snapped me out of my thoughts of the past… she knows when it gets too heavy

"Set it up" I glanced at her for only a second "I'll make myself available to them"

"Is there anything you need from me?" She asked as she turned her whole body towards me.

"You know it." I pointed to the glove compartment

She obliged my request and opened the latch… inside there was a brown envelope. Taking it out and turning back to me "What's this."

"You know who Damon Pope is?"

She thought about it for a moment "Oaktown Shot Caller?"

I smiled "That's him… He sent this to me. I need to know if it's true or false."

"How far you want me to dig." She asked while opening the flap and looking inside.

"All of it." I looked at her again "Leave nothing unturned."

"And if it's true?"

I couldn't bring myself to answer that question… but with Lucy I didn't need to.

She closed the envelope and put it inside her purse as we passed the "Welcome to Charming" sign… home again.

I dropped her off at the far end of town where her uncle had a car waiting for her. I sat for a moment and watched as they drove away wanting to know that they did so safely, and then made the journey back to my home with a lot on my mind.


End file.
